Summary
Building and maintaining good habits is a cornerstone of success, so it’s no wonder why there are so many books (or entire seminars built off of them) like the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I’m a huge Covey fan, so I include habits in training sessions, articles, etc., because they help people see what great looks like. Why are some habits more difficult to build (or stop) than others? Well, often it’s because it isn’t easy and there is effort involved. As humans, we’re naturally lazy and comfortable the way things are. Being aware of this is the start. From there, we’ll touch on the five P’s of building good habits:
- Purpose
- Plan
- Prioritize
- Practice
- Patience
Purpose
To go along with Mr. Covey’s quote, there has to be a desire to change (or build the habit). I call this the purpose, or the “why?” Why is it important? Why is it worth putting in the effort? What is the goal? Some common reasons that people look to build habits are:
- Improving health
- Building education
- Increasing productivity
- Getting organized
- Reducing stress
- Improving relationships
- Furthering a career
So many people do things every day without a clear purpose. When that purpose is clear, and you’re actively thinking about it, you become more engaged. You do it better. Or, you realize that it’s just a waste of time. From a work perspective, having the purpose clearly defined along with the instructions goes a long way – especially when you have to train new team members! Connect the purpose with your goal – what you’re hoping to achieve – and you’ll be starting with success in mind.
Plan
Once you have a clear purpose, you can create a basic plan – the “how” to go along with the why. Starting with the goal and working backwards is usually the best approach, though sometimes you might want to start with the first couple of major steps. You’ve probably heard dozens of quotes and quips around how important planning is. One of my favorites is full of more P’s: “Poor Prior Planning Precedes Pitifully Poor Performance.” Another one is just as blunt: “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” One of my colleagues often says “Plan the work, and work the plan.” It doesn’t get more simple right? It’s amazing what you can do by just setting clear goals and have a clear plan to achieve them. In your plan, identify how you’re going to appeal to your own analytical side as well as your emotional side. Along with a clear plan, it takes both to instill change and build good, lasting habits!
What often happens though is that you get so caught up in the intricate details of the plan that you leave little flexibility for inevitable changes. It’s totally okay if plans change. Build in some cushions and backup options so that you can still achieve the goal. Stress test your plan along the way to make sure it works and that you’re making progress. Just don’t get so caught up in making the plan that you never really get started. This is a big reason that perfectionists rarely make good entrepreneurs!
Priority
A big reason why people aren’t successful in building habits is because they don’t make them a priority (the “when). This is crucial because if you give yourself an excuse to put it off, you will, and you’ll lose a lot of momentum in the process. Schedule the steps in building your habit when you’re most likely to get it done (and not brush it off), which is often first thing in the morning. The simple act of scheduling it will keep it constantly on your radar. If everyone knows who McDonald’s is, why do they advertise so much? It’s because they want to be top of mind when you get hungry and nudge you to eat a Big Mac!
When I graduated from college, one of my biggest goals was to pass the CPA exam. I had the materials and I wanted to study when I got home before and/or after we ate dinner. The problem was, I had a newlywed bride that didn’t have a commitment like that going on, and after hopping in the car for a 30-60 minutes at the end of a long day at work, studying was the last thing I really wanted to do. I changed my routine so that 3-4 days a week, I’d go into the office 1-2 hours early (which saved time in traffic), and it was the first thing I did, while no one was there, free from distractions. At first it was not fun getting up so early, but it’s amazing what your body gets used to. I got it out of the way and still got home at a decent hour. And guess what, it paid off. I passed all four parts of the exam over the course of the next several months – some parts requiring more studying than others of course.
A lot of people reference the “eat the frog” analogy – tackle the toughest, least-appealing task first so you can free your mind for the rest of the day. There’s a chemical reaction going on too. That sense of accomplishment is the same thing you get when finish a good workout or after you watch an exciting movie. Would you rather have that feeling fueling you all day or the prospect of still having to deal with it later? If it’s a habit worth building, it’s a habit worth prioritizing.
Practice
Whether it’s building a good habit or getting rid of a bad one, fundamentally it takes practice (the “what”). How much? Well, it depends on the habit and how you operate. The 21-days metric became popular based on a book called “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Dr. Maxwell Maltz back in 1960. That was generations ago, but because of its popularity, it became a common benchmark. Newer studies say as you might expect: “it varies wildly.” According to a Healthline article, the average closer to 66 days with a usual range of 18-254 days before a habit is truly automatic – where you do it without thinking about it. Take that first step, then do it again and again and again.
Keeping that in mind, you can’t expect to build a habit overnight, or even over a week. It really does take practice. You’ve simply got to put in the effort – there’s no getting around it. What I’ve found helps here is to track your progress – how many days in a row can you go without forgetting? Using a chart or setting a reminder goes a long way to building the habit to where you don’t even have to think about it. I’m learning Spanish with the Duolingo app, and it’s awesome. It makes it fun, easy, and competitive, and I get reminded throughout the day that it’s time for a lesson. I’m approaching 700 days in a row of learning for either a few minutes or a long session, and without the accountability those reminders bring, I would have broken that streak a long time ago!
Patience
That brings us to the last P – patience (the “who” – I’ll explain why that makes sense in a moment). This is one of the toughest ones for me because I admittedly am impatient by design. I put in a lot of effort to be efficient, quick, and proactive, and I get frustrated when I have to wait. But with building habits, that’s just what you have to do (while you practice of course) – be patient in seeing the results. Again, tracking your results (apps work great for this by the way) is extremely helpful (you know, measure what you treasure?). This is why it’s also advised to be realistic when you set your goal. Having clear and realistic expectations, as long as they advance you to your goal and challenge you enough, will help give you some patience.
Another helpful tip for controlling your patience is having an accountability partner – someone who can help you see the progress you’re making. That can be a colleague, mentor, spouse, coach, friend, whatever. Find someone encouraging, but who can give you the type of tough love it sometimes takes to keep you on track. At the least, be your own accountability partner. Be laser-focused and before you know it, you’ll have your habit on auto-pilot!
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