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<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Joke<\/strong><\/td>\n Tags<\/strong><\/td>\n Date Added<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
One of the best gifts I got for Christmas this year is a whiteboard. It\u2019s remarkable!<\/td>\n Office, Christmas<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My biggest talent is always being able to tell what\u2019s in a wrapped present. It\u2019s a gift!<\/td>\n Christmas<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I was recently attacked by a group of clowns. The only way I could survive was to go for the juggler.<\/td>\n Clowns<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Have you guys seen this new air freshener that works from mind control? It makes scents when you think about it.<\/td>\n Mind, Scents<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why can\u2019t dinosaurs clap? Because they\u2019re dead.<\/td>\n Dinosaurs<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do companies that make ice commit fraud easier? Because their assets are already frozen.<\/td>\n Accounting, Ice cream<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Where do terrorists go when they die? Everywhere.<\/td>\n Terrorists<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I\u2019m not sure what he laced them with but I\u2019ve been tripping all day.<\/td>\n Drugs, Shoes<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Where does Captain Hook buy his spare hooks? At the second-hand store.<\/td>\n Pirates<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Do you know what I heard? Cattle.<\/td>\n Cows<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why couldn\u2019t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.<\/td>\n Toilet paper<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.<\/td>\n Food<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If you\u2019re trying to find out what rocket scientists do on their day off, it\u2019s not rocket science.<\/td>\n Rocket science<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Dad jokes make me numb. Math jokes make me number.<\/td>\n Math<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My doctor lost his Twitter account, and now he can\u2019t tweet any of his patients.<\/td>\n Twitter, Doctors<\/td>\n 1\/27\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My son and are are getting new glasses tomorrow. After that, we\u2019ll see!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/27\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a woman who is really good at darts? Amy.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/31\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What dating app do lumberjacks use? Timber.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/31\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I know a stoner who is filing for divorce. He\u2019s fighting for joint custody.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account? Prime-mates.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Do you know what Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I don\u2019t like my wife\u2019s ideas for our kitchen redesign. Her counter arguments are pretty weak.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A degree in history is just useless. There\u2019s no future in it.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/4\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I just started my job as an executioner. I\u2019ll beheading there soon!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/4\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What are you when you clean out the vacuum cleaner? A vacuum cleaner!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/4\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I was going to make a joke about herbs. But I don\u2019t have the thyme.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/4\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
All my problems with my wife are psychological. She\u2019s psycho and I\u2019m logical.<\/td>\n Relationships<\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I lost my job making orange juice. I got canned. Couldn\u2019t concentrate. They really gave me the squeeze!<\/td>\n Food<\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early? Because dawn is tough on greese.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What\u2019s the first step to making a series about flying a plane? Filming the pilot.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What has three letters and starts with gas? A car.<\/td>\n Cars<\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call news about a body of water? Current events.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019m reading a horror story in braile. Something bad is about to happen\u2026I can feel it!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a boomerang that doesn\u2019t come back? A stick.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/8\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I lost 20 pounds last week. Too bad I was in England.<\/td>\n Traveling<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My doctor said I\u2019m going deaf. That news was tough for me to hear.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/15\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When I moved into my igloo, my friends threw me a housewarming party. Now I\u2019m homeless.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If a cowboy is happy, does that make him a jolly rancher?<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the dentist name his new boat? The tooth ferry!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Some bakers have a passion for their craft. Others are just in it for the dough.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife and I laugh about how competitive we are\u2026but I laugh more.<\/td>\n Relationships<\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a deer without eyes? I have no idear.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My girlfriend left me to become an astronaut. She said she needed space.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Seven has %22even%22in it\u2026which is odd.<\/td>\n Math<\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A petite psychic escaped from prison. Officials said that a small medium is at-large.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 3\/1\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife misses me a lot. But I\u2019m worried that her aim is getting better.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 3\/2\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
How did the octopus beat a shark in a fight? It was well-armed.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 3\/2\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Have you ever tried archery wearing a blindfold? You don\u2019t know what you\u2019re missing!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 3\/2\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I married my wife for her looks. Just not the ones she\u2019s giving me lately.<\/td>\n Relationships<\/td>\n 3\/2\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She said nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace. So I bought her nothing.<\/td>\n Relationships<\/td>\n 3\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call people who take care of chickens? Chicken tenders.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 3\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I had a chip implanted in my body. It was a cool ranch dorito!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 3\/4\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife and I have decided we don\u2019t want children. We plan on telling them after supper.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 3\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I know a guy who collects candy canes. They\u2019re all in mint condition!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 3\/11\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019ve been looking for some new hunting gear. Good camouflage is hard to find!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 3\/29\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
People who handle raw meat are gross. People who handle raw vegetables are grocer.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 3\/31\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a typo on a tombstone? A grave mistake.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 3\/31\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do dads eat for breakfast? Pop-tarts!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 5\/5\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When ET got home, his mother asked him %22Where on Earth have you been?!?%22<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 5\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why don\u2019t pirates take a shower before walking the plank? They\u2019ll just wash up on shore.<\/td>\n Pirates<\/td>\n 5\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake!<\/td>\n Cows<\/td>\n 5\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why don\u2019t more people teach oragami? There\u2019s too much paperwork.<\/td>\n Office<\/td>\n 5\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When you think about it, every photo of farmland is cropped.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 5\/13\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 5\/13\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Put it on my bill!<\/td>\n Animals<\/td>\n 5\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If you tell one more corny joke, I\u2019m calling the crops.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I accidentally drank some holy water with my laxative. I\u2019m about to start a holy movement.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why don\u2019t blind people go skydiving? It scares the heck out of their dogs.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What happens when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot\u2019s house? Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? The chicken.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Hey Siri, why don\u2019t women like me? Uh, my name\u2019s Alexa\u2026<\/td>\n Relationships<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do cows eat grass? Because they can\u2019t afford steak!<\/td>\n Cows<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What is the meaning of indifference and apathy? I don\u2019t know and I don\u2019t care.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My girlfriend is leaving me saying that I\u2019m not American enough. I saw it coming from a kilometer away.<\/td>\n Relationships<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
No matter how hard you push the envelope, it will still be stationary.<\/td>\n Office<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I burned a few thousand calories today. Do you wanna how know? I left a pizza in the oven.<\/td>\n Food<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call two boats floating next to each other? Friendships!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What\u2019s a pirate\u2019s favorite letter? It\u2019s the sea!<\/td>\n Pirates<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you get when you mix alcohol and good literature? Tequila Mockingbird!<\/td>\n Alcohol<\/td>\n 6\/24\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why couldn\u2019t the green pepper practice archery? Because it didn\u2019t habanero!<\/td>\n Food<\/td>\n 6\/29\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A police officer asked where I was between 5 and 6 and I said, I don\u2019t know, kindergarten?<\/td>\n Cops<\/td>\n 6\/29\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What happens in a rainforest cave? An Amazon Echo!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 7\/13\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If you give a man a plane ticket, he can fly for a day. If you push him out of a plane, he can fly for the rest of his life!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My buddy told me a girl turned him down because he won\u2019t swim in the deep end of the pool. How shallow is that?<\/td>\n Relationships<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My ex said she needed space. So I bought her a new keyboard!<\/td>\n Relationships<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I was so angry that I threw my keyboard against the way and parts flew everywhere. That\u2019s when the shift hit the fan!<\/td>\n Office<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for? A plastic explosive!<\/td>\n Food<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A cop stopped me and asked me why I was carrying such a large book. I told him it\u2019s a long story.<\/td>\n Cops<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!<\/td>\n Cows<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If a cow doesn\u2019t produce milk, is it an udder failure or a milk dud?<\/td>\n Cows<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Four cows were smoking a joint and playing poker. The steaks were pretty high!<\/td>\n Cows<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A cannibal was late to a big dinner, so everyone gave him the cold shoulder.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Pride is what you feel when your kids make $100 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing!<\/td>\n Children<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a lazy doctor? Doctor Do-Little<\/td>\n Doctor<\/td>\n 8\/8\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
How can you tell that it\u2019s been raining cats and dogs? You step in a poodle!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If I\u2019m not mistaken, white out is pretty useless.<\/td>\n Office<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I saw a burgler kicking in his own front door. He must have been working at home.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I used to date a geologist. She kept finding faults in me. Cracks appeared, then we split. That\u2019s when you say I hit rock bottom.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I had to break up with my math teacher girlfriend. She was obsessed with an x.<\/td>\n Math<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife asked if I\u2019ve seen the dog bowl. I said I didn\u2019t know he could?!?<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife keeps putting ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can\u2019t read anything.<\/td>\n Food<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My daughter thinks I\u2019m nosy and won\u2019t respect her boundaries. At least that\u2019s what she wrote in her diary\u2026<\/td>\n Children<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A termite walked into a bar and asked %22Is the bar tender here?%22<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019m writing a book on reverse psychology. You shouldn\u2019t buy it.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife\u2019s birthday is next week and she has been leaving jewelry magazines all over the house in anticipation. So I bought her a magazine rack!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat miner!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why isn\u2019t holy water used in vaccines? Because you shouldn\u2019t take the Lord\u2019s name in vein.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spectator!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I went to a police concert. Turns out it was a Sting operation.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What\u2019s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a blender.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in on a 4K TV? HDMI!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
There are two reasons why you should not drink toilet water. #1 and #2.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The gas station is now charging me to air up my tires. You know why? Inflation.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Where do fish keep their money? In the riverbank.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/6\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Do you know what seven said after eating one? Now we are even!<\/td>\n Math<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If a king sleeps on a king-sized mattress and a queen sleeps on a queen-sized mattress, where does a prince sleep? On an heir mattress!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Someone broke into my house and was looking for money. So I got up and I looked with him.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a man with the heart of a lion? Banned from the zoo.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The best part about picking a name for your baby is realizing how many people you hate.<\/td>\n Children<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Brain transplants will never be possible. Go ahead and try to change my mind.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a detective who accidentally solves cases? Sheer luck holmes.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common? Collar ID!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
How do monsters discipline their children? Limit their scream time!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When Mr. T bought an electric car, he said %22I pity the fuel!%22<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What happens when Batman gets injured? Bruised Wayne.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Many years ago, only the rich had a car and the poor had horses. Now the poor have cars but only the rich have horses. I guess the stables have turned\u2026<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
There are key differences between typing on a computer and playing the piano.<\/td>\n Office<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times? A widow.<\/td>\n Relationships<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My friend was changing a flat when he dropped a tire on his foot. Now he needs a toe!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife told me she was leaving if I didn\u2019t stop singing %22I\u2019m a believer.%22 I thought she was kidding, but then I saw her face!<\/td>\n Relationships<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do the French eat snails? Because they don\u2019t like fast food!<\/td>\n Food<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Queen Elizabeth sat on the throne for over 70 years. %91Pause%93 That\u2019s impressive. I start to get leg cramps in less than 10 minutes!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a cow who recently had a baby? Decaffeinated!<\/td>\n Cows<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I got fired from my job as a bank teller. A lady came in to check her balance and I tipped her over!<\/td>\n Office<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Two cannibals were eating a clown and one said to the other, %22Does this taste funny to you?%22<\/td>\n Clowns<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? %22Aye, matey!%22<\/td>\n Pirates, birthday<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I got carded at a bar and my Blockbuster card fell out. The bartender said %22Nevermind.%22<\/td>\n Aging<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When two vegans get into an argument, is it still called a beef?<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I\u2019ll let you know\u2026<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If you feed your children frozen pizza or chicken nuggets, you\u2019re a horrible parent. At least find the time to throw them in the microwave first\u2026<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 9\/21\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Did you say you\u2019re cold? Why don\u2019t you stand in the corner? It\u2019s 90 degrees.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 10\/17\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the liability say to the asset? I don\u2019t want to die a loan\u2026<\/td>\n Accounting<\/td>\n 11\/1\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Remorse code.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 11\/28\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I used to be an accountant. I quite when I started hearing invoices.<\/td>\n Accounting<\/td>\n 1\/10\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A truck carrying a load of Vick\u2019s Vapor Rub flipped over. Fortunately, there was no congestion for 8 hours.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/10\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What is a bunny rabbit\u2019s favorite kind of whiskey? Hopscotch!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/10\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019m looking for the woman of my dreams. Too bad I\u2019m an insomniac!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I was on a diabetes website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is this a trick question?<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Last night at dinner my 6-year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said %22loan shark,%22 so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Do you know how pro baseball players will often throw a ball into the stands? Apparently that\u2019s frowned upon in bowling!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Smoking bacon will cure it.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I was looking at buying a sofa and the salesman said it could seat up to five people with no problems. Then it occurred to me, I don\u2019t know five people that have no problems.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
It\u2019s a misconception that french fries came from France. They really came out of Greece.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Initially, God wanted wasps to pollinate everything. But then he went with plan B.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call someone who notices a crime at an Apple Store? An iWitness.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A snake walked into a bar and the bartender said %22How\u2019d you do that?%22<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My friends said %22I don\u2019t know what cloning means.%22 I replied %22That makes two of us!%22<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019m really thankful for sidewalks \u2013 they\u2019ve kept me off the streets most of my life.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My dad used to say when one door closes, another one opens. That\u2019s great in theory, but not for cabinetry.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the bilingual cat say? Woof! What did the bilingual dog say? Yo quiero taco bell!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife told me to stop referencing Bruce Willis films. I told her %22Sorry honey, I guess old habits die hard.%22<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019d like to try pole vaulting, but the set the bar so high!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Me: Knock knock. Kid: Who\u2019s there? Me: Broken pencil. Kid: broken pencil who? Me: Nevermind, this joke is pointless.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I like to walk my cow through the vineyard. I guess you could say I herd it through the grapevine!<\/td>\n Cows<\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What\u2019s brown and sticky? A stick!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What should you do if you see a BMW use a turn signal? Call the police, it\u2019s clearly stolen.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I just found out my kitchen floor is made of marble. All this time I\u2019ve been taking it for granite.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do the Vikings wear purple? Because if you choked for 30 years, you\u2019d be purple too!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If a chess player accidentally loses his tower, is that called a rookie mistake?<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What kind of tree has the best bark? Dogwood!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I accidentally gave my wife some super glue instead of lip balm. She still isn\u2019t talking to me.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Did you hear the joke about insomnia? I never get tired of it!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I once knew a horrible train conductor, and asked him how many trains he derailed last week. He said I don\u2019t know, it\u2019s really hard to keep track.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I only drink on days that start with T: Tuesday, Thursday, Today, and Tomorrow!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Did you know that crocodiles often live to be over 70 years old? That\u2019s why you are very likely to see them again after a while.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I think cannais dispensaries are would be better named as bakeries.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I yelled at two pigeons sitting on a power line and they dropped dead. I didn\u2019t know you could kill two birds with one\u2019s tone!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I misplaced Dwayne Johnson\u2019s cutting tool for the origami workshop\u2026I can\u2019t believe I lost the Rock\u2019s Paper Scissors.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I walked by the stud finders while at the hardware store, and you wouldn\u2019t believe the noise\u2026<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Be careful of the Egyptian construction projects you invest in \u2013 it could be a pyramid scheme.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Would anyone be interested in being my companion? I\u2019m asking for a friend.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A toilet was stolen from the police station. Police report they have nothing to go on.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Apple is designing a new automatic car, but they\u2019re having trouble installing windows!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I met a DJ from Chernobyl. He\u2019s really radio active.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/20\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My deaf girlfriend was talking again in her sleep last night. Damn near poked my eye out!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Guess what I saw? Wood!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The oil industry is rigged. This might be a crude joke\u2026<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Since covid, I\u2019ve been using newspaper instead of toilet paper. Times are rough!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Did you hear about the explosion at the pie factory? Police say there were 3.14 casualties.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why did the grape cross the road? No raisin\u2026<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What would you call Madonna if she was an accountant? An Immaterial Girl!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call someone who loves chocolate but hates peanut butter? A Ree-sist.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you get when you mix peanut butter and baked beans? A fart that sticks to the roof of your butt<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I asked a librarian on a date for Friday night, but she said she was already booked.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Chewbacca struggled in his first year on the job\u2026he made a lot of wookie mistakes.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the cow say to the calf? Who came home late? It\u2019s past your bedtime.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Diarrhea is hereditary and I can prove it. It runs in your jeans.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it exploded.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
There\u2019s a big sale at the Lego store today. People are lined up for blocks!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why did the Lego cross the road? To get to the other block!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Where do Lego people go to the doctor? To the plastic surgeon!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The Lego movie was a little tough to follow up with all the moving pieces.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
How does a Lego man measure his shoe size? In square feet!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The price of balloons has gone up a lot recently. I think it might have to do with inflation.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Chuck Norris once got bit by a king cobra. After three days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I think I might be a genius. I completed a puzzle in six months when the box said four years and up!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I went to a prom at a school for the blind. I finally got to dance like no one was watching!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I got a new pen that writes underwater! I just hope it can write other words too.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Face is a four letter word. Preface is a foreword letter.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I got an email today telling me how to read maps backwards. I\u2019m pretty sure it was spam.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I asked my German friend if he knows the square root of 81 and he said nine.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do snakes do when they get angry? They throw a hissy fit!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Before the invention of crowbars, crows used to drink alone at home.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Never criticize someone unless you\u2019ve walked a mile in their shoes. Because then you\u2019ll be a mile away Angela also have their shoes!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Two windmills are talking about music and one says all my life I\u2019ve been a heavy metal fan.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The movie Groundhog Day is one of my favorites and it\u2019s full of irony. I like to watch it over and over again.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The movie Groundhog Day is a timeless classic!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A friend told me about his dog that ran 10 miles to fetch a stick. That sounds a little far-fetched to me.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I got a new job at a wind farm. So far, it\u2019s a breeze!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When someone hurts their funny bone, it\u2019s not really funny. But it is humorous.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What\u2019s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a politician with a clear conscience? Suffering from Alzheimer\u2019s.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019m writing a movie about broken bones, I just need a cast for it.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I went to McDonald\u2019s and order two large fries. But those jokers gave me a whole bunch of little ones.<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call someone who takes noodles from the rich and give them to the poor? Ramen hood!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The CEO of IKEA just got elected president of Sweden. He\u2019s still assembling his cabinet!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Mimes are the craziest kind of people\u2026they do such unspeakable things!<\/td>\n <\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
\u201d content_phone=\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Joke \/ Tags<\/strong><\/td>\n Date<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n
One of the best gifts I got for Christmas this year is a whiteboard. It\u2019s remarkable!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Office, Christmas<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My biggest talent is always being able to tell what\u2019s in a wrapped present. It\u2019s a gift!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Christmas<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I was recently attacked by a group of clowns. The only way I could survive was to go for the juggler.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Clowns<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Have you guys seen this new air freshener that works from mind control? It makes scents when you think about it.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Mind, Scents<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why can\u2019t dinosaurs clap? Because they\u2019re dead.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Dinosaurs<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do companies that make ice commit fraud easier? Because their assets are already frozen.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Accounting, Ice cream<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Where do terrorists go when they die? Everywhere.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Terrorists<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I\u2019m not sure what he laced them with but I\u2019ve been tripping all day.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Drugs, Shoes<\/td>\n 1\/14\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Where does Captain Hook buy his spare hooks? At the second-hand store.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Pirates<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Do you know what I heard? Cattle.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cows<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why couldn\u2019t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Toilet paper<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Food<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If you\u2019re trying to find out what rocket scientists do on their day off, it\u2019s not rocket science.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Rocket science<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Dad jokes make me numb. Math jokes make me number.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Math<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My doctor lost his Twitter account, and now he can\u2019t tweet any of his patients.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Twitter, Doctors<\/td>\n 1\/27\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My son and are are getting new glasses tomorrow. After that, we\u2019ll see!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/27\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a woman who is really good at darts? Amy.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/31\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What dating app do lumberjacks use? Timber.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/31\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I know a stoner who is filing for divorce. He\u2019s fighting for joint custody.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account? Prime-mates.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Do you know what Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I don\u2019t like my wife\u2019s ideas for our kitchen redesign. Her counter arguments are pretty weak.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A degree in history is just useless. There\u2019s no future in it.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/4\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I just started my job as an executioner. I\u2019ll beheading there soon!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/4\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What are you when you clean out the vacuum cleaner? A vacuum cleaner!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/4\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I was going to make a joke about herbs. But I don\u2019t have the thyme.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/4\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
All my problems with my wife are psychological. She\u2019s psycho and I\u2019m logical.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Relationships<\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I lost my job making orange juice. I got canned. Couldn\u2019t concentrate. They really gave me the squeeze!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Food<\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early? Because dawn is tough on greese.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What\u2019s the first step to making a series about flying a plane? Filming the pilot.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What has three letters and starts with gas? A car.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cars<\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call news about a body of water? Current events.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019m reading a horror story in braile. Something bad is about to happen\u2026I can feel it!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/7\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a boomerang that doesn\u2019t come back? A stick.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/8\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I lost 20 pounds last week. Too bad I was in England.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Traveling<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My doctor said I\u2019m going deaf. That news was tough for me to hear.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/15\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When I moved into my igloo, my friends threw me a housewarming party. Now I\u2019m homeless.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If a cowboy is happy, does that make him a jolly rancher?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the dentist name his new boat? The tooth ferry!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Some bakers have a passion for their craft. Others are just in it for the dough.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife and I laugh about how competitive we are\u2026but I laugh more.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Relationships<\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a deer without eyes? I have no idear.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My girlfriend left me to become an astronaut. She said she needed space.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Seven has %22even%22in it\u2026which is odd.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Math<\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A petite psychic escaped from prison. Officials said that a small medium is at-large.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 3\/1\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife misses me a lot. But I\u2019m worried that her aim is getting better.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 3\/2\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
How did the octopus beat a shark in a fight? It was well-armed.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 3\/2\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Have you ever tried archery wearing a blindfold? You don\u2019t know what you\u2019re missing!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 3\/2\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I married my wife for her looks. Just not the ones she\u2019s giving me lately.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Relationships<\/td>\n 3\/2\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She said nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace. So I bought her nothing.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Relationships<\/td>\n 3\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call people who take care of chickens? Chicken tenders.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 3\/3\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I had a chip implanted in my body. It was a cool ranch dorito!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 3\/4\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife and I have decided we don\u2019t want children. We plan on telling them after supper.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 3\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I know a guy who collects candy canes. They\u2019re all in mint condition!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 3\/11\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019ve been looking for some new hunting gear. Good camouflage is hard to find!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 3\/29\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
People who handle raw meat are gross. People who handle raw vegetables are grocer.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 3\/31\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a typo on a tombstone? A grave mistake.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 3\/31\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do dads eat for breakfast? Pop-tarts!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 5\/5\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When ET got home, his mother asked him %22Where on Earth have you been?!?%22<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 5\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why don\u2019t pirates take a shower before walking the plank? They\u2019ll just wash up on shore.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Pirates<\/td>\n 5\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cows<\/td>\n 5\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why don\u2019t more people teach oragami? There\u2019s too much paperwork.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Office<\/td>\n 5\/9\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When you think about it, every photo of farmland is cropped.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 5\/13\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 5\/13\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Put it on my bill!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Animals<\/td>\n 5\/25\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If you tell one more corny joke, I\u2019m calling the crops.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I accidentally drank some holy water with my laxative. I\u2019m about to start a holy movement.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why don\u2019t blind people go skydiving? It scares the heck out of their dogs.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What happens when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot\u2019s house? Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? The chicken.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Hey Siri, why don\u2019t women like me? Uh, my name\u2019s Alexa\u2026<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Relationships<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do cows eat grass? Because they can\u2019t afford steak!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cows<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What is the meaning of indifference and apathy? I don\u2019t know and I don\u2019t care.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My girlfriend is leaving me saying that I\u2019m not American enough. I saw it coming from a kilometer away.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Relationships<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
No matter how hard you push the envelope, it will still be stationary.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Office<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I burned a few thousand calories today. Do you wanna how know? I left a pizza in the oven.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Food<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call two boats floating next to each other? Friendships!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What\u2019s a pirate\u2019s favorite letter? It\u2019s the sea!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Pirates<\/td>\n 6\/23\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you get when you mix alcohol and good literature? Tequila Mockingbird!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Alcohol<\/td>\n 6\/24\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why couldn\u2019t the green pepper practice archery? Because it didn\u2019t habanero!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Food<\/td>\n 6\/29\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A police officer asked where I was between 5 and 6 and I said, I don\u2019t know, kindergarten?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cops<\/td>\n 6\/29\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What happens in a rainforest cave? An Amazon Echo!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 7\/13\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If you give a man a plane ticket, he can fly for a day. If you push him out of a plane, he can fly for the rest of his life!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My buddy told me a girl turned him down because he won\u2019t swim in the deep end of the pool. How shallow is that?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Relationships<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My ex said she needed space. So I bought her a new keyboard!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Relationships<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I was so angry that I threw my keyboard against the way and parts flew everywhere. That\u2019s when the shift hit the fan!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Office<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for? A plastic explosive!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Food<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A cop stopped me and asked me why I was carrying such a large book. I told him it\u2019s a long story.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cops<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cows<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If a cow doesn\u2019t produce milk, is it an udder failure or a milk dud?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cows<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Four cows were smoking a joint and playing poker. The steaks were pretty high!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cows<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A cannibal was late to a big dinner, so everyone gave him the cold shoulder.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Pride is what you feel when your kids make $100 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Children<\/td>\n 7\/20\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a lazy doctor? Doctor Do-Little<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Doctor<\/td>\n 8\/8\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
How can you tell that it\u2019s been raining cats and dogs? You step in a poodle!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If I\u2019m not mistaken, white out is pretty useless.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Office<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I saw a burgler kicking in his own front door. He must have been working at home.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I used to date a geologist. She kept finding faults in me. Cracks appeared, then we split. That\u2019s when you say I hit rock bottom.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I had to break up with my math teacher girlfriend. She was obsessed with an x.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Math<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife asked if I\u2019ve seen the dog bowl. I said I didn\u2019t know he could?!?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife keeps putting ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can\u2019t read anything.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Food<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My daughter thinks I\u2019m nosy and won\u2019t respect her boundaries. At least that\u2019s what she wrote in her diary\u2026<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Children<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A termite walked into a bar and asked %22Is the bar tender here?%22<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019m writing a book on reverse psychology. You shouldn\u2019t buy it.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife\u2019s birthday is next week and she has been leaving jewelry magazines all over the house in anticipation. So I bought her a magazine rack!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat miner!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why isn\u2019t holy water used in vaccines? Because you shouldn\u2019t take the Lord\u2019s name in vein.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spectator!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I went to a police concert. Turns out it was a Sting operation.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What\u2019s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a blender.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in on a 4K TV? HDMI!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
There are two reasons why you should not drink toilet water. #1 and #2.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The gas station is now charging me to air up my tires. You know why? Inflation.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 8\/22\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Where do fish keep their money? In the riverbank.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/6\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Do you know what seven said after eating one? Now we are even!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Math<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If a king sleeps on a king-sized mattress and a queen sleeps on a queen-sized mattress, where does a prince sleep? On an heir mattress!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Someone broke into my house and was looking for money. So I got up and I looked with him.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a man with the heart of a lion? Banned from the zoo.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The best part about picking a name for your baby is realizing how many people you hate.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Children<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Brain transplants will never be possible. Go ahead and try to change my mind.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a detective who accidentally solves cases? Sheer luck holmes.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common? Collar ID!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
How do monsters discipline their children? Limit their scream time!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When Mr. T bought an electric car, he said %22I pity the fuel!%22<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What happens when Batman gets injured? Bruised Wayne.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Many years ago, only the rich had a car and the poor had horses. Now the poor have cars but only the rich have horses. I guess the stables have turned\u2026<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
There are key differences between typing on a computer and playing the piano.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Office<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times? A widow.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Relationships<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My friend was changing a flat when he dropped a tire on his foot. Now he needs a toe!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife told me she was leaving if I didn\u2019t stop singing %22I\u2019m a believer.%22 I thought she was kidding, but then I saw her face!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Relationships<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do the French eat snails? Because they don\u2019t like fast food!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Food<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Queen Elizabeth sat on the throne for over 70 years. %91Pause%93 That\u2019s impressive. I start to get leg cramps in less than 10 minutes!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a cow who recently had a baby? Decaffeinated!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cows<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I got fired from my job as a bank teller. A lady came in to check her balance and I tipped her over!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Office<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Two cannibals were eating a clown and one said to the other, %22Does this taste funny to you?%22<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Clowns<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? %22Aye, matey!%22<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Pirates, birthday<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I got carded at a bar and my Blockbuster card fell out. The bartender said %22Nevermind.%22<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Aging<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When two vegans get into an argument, is it still called a beef?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I\u2019ll let you know\u2026<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/19\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If you feed your children frozen pizza or chicken nuggets, you\u2019re a horrible parent. At least find the time to throw them in the microwave first\u2026<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 9\/21\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Did you say you\u2019re cold? Why don\u2019t you stand in the corner? It\u2019s 90 degrees.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 10\/17\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the liability say to the asset? I don\u2019t want to die a loan\u2026<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Accounting<\/td>\n 11\/1\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Remorse code.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 11\/28\/2022<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I used to be an accountant. I quite when I started hearing invoices.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Accounting<\/td>\n 1\/10\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A truck carrying a load of Vick\u2019s Vapor Rub flipped over. Fortunately, there was no congestion for 8 hours.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/10\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What is a bunny rabbit\u2019s favorite kind of whiskey? Hopscotch!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/10\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019m looking for the woman of my dreams. Too bad I\u2019m an insomniac!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I was on a diabetes website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is this a trick question?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Last night at dinner my 6-year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said %22loan shark,%22 so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Do you know how pro baseball players will often throw a ball into the stands? Apparently that\u2019s frowned upon in bowling!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Smoking bacon will cure it.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I was looking at buying a sofa and the salesman said it could seat up to five people with no problems. Then it occurred to me, I don\u2019t know five people that have no problems.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
It\u2019s a misconception that french fries came from France. They really came out of Greece.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Initially, God wanted wasps to pollinate everything. But then he went with plan B.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call someone who notices a crime at an Apple Store? An iWitness.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A snake walked into a bar and the bartender said %22How\u2019d you do that?%22<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My friends said %22I don\u2019t know what cloning means.%22 I replied %22That makes two of us!%22<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019m really thankful for sidewalks \u2013 they\u2019ve kept me off the streets most of my life.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My dad used to say when one door closes, another one opens. That\u2019s great in theory, but not for cabinetry.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the bilingual cat say? Woof! What did the bilingual dog say? Yo quiero taco bell!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My wife told me to stop referencing Bruce Willis films. I told her %22Sorry honey, I guess old habits die hard.%22<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019d like to try pole vaulting, but the set the bar so high!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Me: Knock knock. Kid: Who\u2019s there? Me: Broken pencil. Kid: broken pencil who? Me: Nevermind, this joke is pointless.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/12\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I like to walk my cow through the vineyard. I guess you could say I herd it through the grapevine!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cows<\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What\u2019s brown and sticky? A stick!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What should you do if you see a BMW use a turn signal? Call the police, it\u2019s clearly stolen.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I just found out my kitchen floor is made of marble. All this time I\u2019ve been taking it for granite.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why do the Vikings wear purple? Because if you choked for 30 years, you\u2019d be purple too!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
If a chess player accidentally loses his tower, is that called a rookie mistake?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/17\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What kind of tree has the best bark? Dogwood!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I accidentally gave my wife some super glue instead of lip balm. She still isn\u2019t talking to me.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Did you hear the joke about insomnia? I never get tired of it!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I once knew a horrible train conductor, and asked him how many trains he derailed last week. He said I don\u2019t know, it\u2019s really hard to keep track.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I only drink on days that start with T: Tuesday, Thursday, Today, and Tomorrow!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Did you know that crocodiles often live to be over 70 years old? That\u2019s why you are very likely to see them again after a while.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I think cannais dispensaries are would be better named as bakeries.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I yelled at two pigeons sitting on a power line and they dropped dead. I didn\u2019t know you could kill two birds with one\u2019s tone!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I misplaced Dwayne Johnson\u2019s cutting tool for the origami workshop\u2026I can\u2019t believe I lost the Rock\u2019s Paper Scissors.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I walked by the stud finders while at the hardware store, and you wouldn\u2019t believe the noise\u2026<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Be careful of the Egyptian construction projects you invest in \u2013 it could be a pyramid scheme.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Would anyone be interested in being my companion? I\u2019m asking for a friend.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A toilet was stolen from the police station. Police report they have nothing to go on.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Apple is designing a new automatic car, but they\u2019re having trouble installing windows!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/19\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I met a DJ from Chernobyl. He\u2019s really radio active.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/20\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
My deaf girlfriend was talking again in her sleep last night. Damn near poked my eye out!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Guess what I saw? Wood!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The oil industry is rigged. This might be a crude joke\u2026<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Since covid, I\u2019ve been using newspaper instead of toilet paper. Times are rough!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Did you hear about the explosion at the pie factory? Police say there were 3.14 casualties.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why did the grape cross the road? No raisin\u2026<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What would you call Madonna if she was an accountant? An Immaterial Girl!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call someone who loves chocolate but hates peanut butter? A Ree-sist.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you get when you mix peanut butter and baked beans? A fart that sticks to the roof of your butt<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 1\/24\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I asked a librarian on a date for Friday night, but she said she was already booked.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Chewbacca struggled in his first year on the job\u2026he made a lot of wookie mistakes.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What did the cow say to the calf? Who came home late? It\u2019s past your bedtime.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Diarrhea is hereditary and I can prove it. It runs in your jeans.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it exploded.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
There\u2019s a big sale at the Lego store today. People are lined up for blocks!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Why did the Lego cross the road? To get to the other block!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Where do Lego people go to the doctor? To the plastic surgeon!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The Lego movie was a little tough to follow up with all the moving pieces.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
How does a Lego man measure his shoe size? In square feet!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The price of balloons has gone up a lot recently. I think it might have to do with inflation.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Chuck Norris once got bit by a king cobra. After three days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I think I might be a genius. I completed a puzzle in six months when the box said four years and up!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I went to a prom at a school for the blind. I finally got to dance like no one was watching!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I got a new pen that writes underwater! I just hope it can write other words too.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Face is a four letter word. Preface is a foreword letter.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I got an email today telling me how to read maps backwards. I\u2019m pretty sure it was spam.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I asked my German friend if he knows the square root of 81 and he said nine.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do snakes do when they get angry? They throw a hissy fit!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Before the invention of crowbars, crows used to drink alone at home.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Never criticize someone unless you\u2019ve walked a mile in their shoes. Because then you\u2019ll be a mile away Angela also have their shoes!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Two windmills are talking about music and one says all my life I\u2019ve been a heavy metal fan.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The movie Groundhog Day is one of my favorites and it\u2019s full of irony. I like to watch it over and over again.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The movie Groundhog Day is a timeless classic!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A friend told me about his dog that ran 10 miles to fetch a stick. That sounds a little far-fetched to me.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I got a new job at a wind farm. So far, it\u2019s a breeze!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When someone hurts their funny bone, it\u2019s not really funny. But it is humorous.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What\u2019s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call a politician with a clear conscience? Suffering from Alzheimer\u2019s.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I\u2019m writing a movie about broken bones, I just need a cast for it.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I went to McDonald\u2019s and order two large fries. But those jokers gave me a whole bunch of little ones.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What do you call someone who takes noodles from the rich and give them to the poor? Ramen hood!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The CEO of IKEA just got elected president of Sweden. He\u2019s still assembling his cabinet!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Mimes are the craziest kind of people\u2026they do such unspeakable things!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n 2\/9\/2023<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
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